Beer Troubleshooting

Discussion in 'Culture' started by Eva2, Jul 18, 2004.

  1. Eva2

    Eva2 Well-Known Member

    To our British friends and other foreign nationals:

    The moderate prices and excellent quality of Czech beer have been attracting many interested travelers into our pubs. Based on the profound knowledge of the natives, the Ministry of Tourism has compiled the following advice to insure that a visit to a pub results in a pleasant experience.

    Beer Troubleshooting

    SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
    FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
    ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

    SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
    FAULT: Improper bladder control.
    ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.

    SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
    FAULT: Glass empty.
    ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

    SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
    FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
    ACTION: Have yourself leashed to bar.

    SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
    FAULT: You have fallen forward.
    ACTION: See above.

    SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
    FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
    ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.

    SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
    FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
    ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

    SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
    FAULT: You are being carried out.
    ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.

    SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
    FAULT: Bar has closed.
    ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender.

    SYMPTOM: Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures.
    FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
    ACTION: Cover mouth.
  2. SMZ

    SMZ Well-Known Member

    Now THIS is what I call a helpful travel resource! :lol:

    I'll be visiting the CR in September (less than 2 months -- can't wait!) and will plan to take a print-out of this to refer to.


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