Hello all!! I will try and make a very long story short to begin with. Over the summer, I purchased a ticket to Prague for vacation. I of course knew when I was going about 3 months before I left. So, being a single man I decided to look for a female friend to show me around Prague while there. I found a pen pal site that provided pictures and sent out emails to a few ladies. I ended up getting a reply from one of the ladies and we stayed in contact for almost 2 months before my vacation. She agreed to meet me for dinner one evening in Prague. We had a very nice and comfortable evening visiting with each other. When we said our goodbyes that evening, we went through the whole "do we shake hands, kiss, hug, or what" situation. I hugged her and she kissed me on the cheek. I only got to see her that one evening, as she is a very busy young professional. Once I got back home, the emails continued as before but with more passion and enthusiasm on both of our sides. I have started developing feelings for this girl but it almost seems to good to be true. The obstacles seem unreachable. However, last week I get an email from her and she is going to quit her job and come to the United States. It seems that she has friends in the United States that don't live to far from me. She has asked for my contact information and wants to get together when she comes over. I don't have a problem with any of her plans and I can't wait to see her, but I can't help but wonder if this girl is into me or just the American experience. Since my return to the States, I have read everything I could find on culture, dating, relationships, and the women of the Czech Republic. I am trying to understand this girl as best I can, but so many questions keep coming up. I have read everything relevant on this site that I thought was important to know. I think about this girl all the time, and wake every morning with hopes of a new email with more news of her arrival plans. I wonder how living with her would be? Could we get past the culture differences? Would a long term happy relationship be possible? Our relationship seems so fragile now, but I want it to be so much more. From you, the forum readers, I am looking for insight, your experiences, and thoughts of the situation that I have just described. What is she thinking? What drives her to quit her job, leave her country? Any input from readers like yourself will be appreciated whether it’s good or bad. So, go ahead and let me know what you think, I need your opinion. Thanks, Paul
Hi Paul! I doubt anyone here can see inside the woman's head. It is possible that she likes you and it is equally possible that she wants to use you. When she comes to visit you, insist on meeting her friends. That might give you an insight into her life. She seems quite reckless, to say the least. Good luck, Eva
Paul, I quite agree to Eva's words. It's hard to say what exactly her motivation is to move to the states. Of course that would be good news to you for eventually you can meet her in your place instead of reading emails. Yet when everything is so uncertain, ~ even apparently it looks so fantastic ~ you'd better not expect too much in case some things unexpected happen and hurt your feelings by far. Before she is there, don't worry that much and remember though, always be yourself and don't get over-obssessed! It's always dreadfully colder when the passion is gone. Otherwise, maybe you don't have to face this situation. You will see. good luck!
Hello Paul. I dont know if my words could help you, I agree with Eva that is impossible to look on woman (also man) head, but I will tell you my story, is a little similar. I have knew my (today) husband through internet. He is Czech, I am living with him now here. I am from America too, but from Argentina. We "found" our selves on 25.5.2003, and we knew personally in february this year, when he went to Argentina to can know me, and my family. He was in Argentina 24 days, and it was enough for us. We kept chatting till 10.10 this year (one month ago), and during that time we planned our life together. We married at 23.10 and we are waiting now for my residence permission. We are ok, happy. We are, of course, knowing our selves by other ways now. Sometimes is hard, but we are strong (as our relation at the distance has shown us). It will be now 1 year and half that we are "together", and it is great. We learnt that even with the hard things, is practically same than having a "normal" relation (I mean, not through internet, not at the distance). I hope it was helpfull, although I didn't answer your questions. I am not able. Good luck with everything. There is always a back way! Daniela
Hello Paul, I am optimist and I am allways trying to believe in people. I believe they must give me reason to do not trust them first. I know it is quite risky, but basicly I believe in my instincts about people. You obviously like or even love this girl. You said there were sympaties between us when you met and that after your return you are continuing in communication. If you have doubts about her, maybe the best way is to ask. I know it sounds pretty radical or strange or crazy... but maybe it could be the best way. I know that in email is maybe difficult to speak about such things - mainly because it is just very inpersonal and say truth or lie is much more easy than to do the same face-to-face.....but really people must give you reason to distrust them first and there are reasons why you feel what you feel. I would do this, but of course it is just my opinion. Good luck! Veronika
Hey Alabamy- My advice is to proceed with caution. My fiance is Czech- and we've been together for six months. There are A LOT of differences. I have nothing to say but good things about the women he knows. (Czechs are kind of clannish here in America- I think a lot b/c of the language, but they seem to keep to themselves. I'm the first American he's dated/even befriended. Luckily, my grandma is Czech so he and his friends took to me- and I'd like to think my friendly nature as well.) As far as the women, they are very domestically oriented, almost to an annoyingly perfect way- (to me- not thier husbands..) (They can cook, iron, ice a cake- and run the vacuum all at the same time- and still look perfect.) We moved in together right away, and are still doing the period of adjusment thing. One thing I found out are that Czechs like to parade through the house and lounge in their underwear. Be prepared! (Now I bet you really can't wait until she gets here.) But as far as the differences go, I wouldn't recommend rushing her feelings. I would be respectful of her space when she arrives. You REALLY don't know one another until you live together. Since it doesn't sound like you know much about each other- you would be a fool not to have a least some reservations. The best advice I got when I took on my "mail-order husband" (thats a joke) was sometimes you just have to shake things up a bit in life. I don't regret anything- I've found Czechs to be warm when they like you, and with strong work/family ethics. However- I have to tell you a woman my husband works with moved here after email correspondence, married him- and divorced shortly after. She had a good lawyer, and got her green card anyway. My husband's best friend just moved back to CR after marrying an American (and ditching her when he wasn't happy.) This is a LOT more common- and if you're going to do it for her- just keep in your mind the circumstances and don't be naive.
Eva, “I doubt anyone here can see inside the woman's head”. Probably the understatement of the universe!! Sam, Your comments and suggestions (dealing with emotions and feelings) seem right in line with many of my own thoughts. Right now I’m just trying to play it cool through all of this and I’m trying not to expect too much. When she actually makes it to the States, I’m sure my excitement and nervousness will grow but I’m ready. Daniela, Your post gave a lot of insight into the progression of the relationship; it was interesting reading your story. Thank you. If it becomes possible that one day I could go back to the Czech Republic and meet her family, I would enjoy that very much! Veronika, Unfortunately, I am the opposite of you! I can not openly or blindly trust new people that enter my life. I feel that trust is earned. However, I do have a certain amount of trust in her. I do like her very much and I am optimistic about a future with her. I have read many times that the Czech’s do not so much classify the stages of their relationships as we Americans might. So, I haven’t felt it necessary yet to try and define our relationship. I just want a chance to get to know her better. I intend to treat her as a friend and a guest in my house when or if she arrives. If romance happens, I will enjoy it and be a happy man. iluvuma1, I will proceed with caution!! It makes sense that Czechs in the United States would want to have the company of other Czech’s. I guess I’ll have to find my girl a clan! I must say that your description of Czech women gives me even more motivation and drive to move forward. Could it be possible that some where in the world there are women that still possess the knowledge to maintain a home? If so, sign me up, I’ll take one!! These Czech women sound like the strong southern women (of the southern United States) that I grew up around. Lounging around in underwear? I guess we’ll have to go do a little shopping at Victoria’s Secret. :wink: I’m living on the edge! I do have reservations and I am being cautious. Bad relationships, divorce, and hurt feelings are a part of life, all we can do is try and reduce the pain and financial loss. I’m not naive! Thanks, Paul
Hi, Be cautious of Czech girls lol. You don't know what she is thinking like everyone else has said correctly. Get to know her friends,social circle see what kind of background she has. Spend sometime to know her more. Good luck! Regards, SR
Ceska Republika wow.... I guess we are in a relationship section. I'm just giving my 2 cents here about what i think about czech women and czech republic in general It's been awhile since i was there for my student exchange where i studied in University of Economics, Prague for this past winter 2004. Let me tell you about Prague: the scenery is surreal, and czech women are superb and liberal compared to where i live (Calgary, Canada) where people are a little bit conservative. Libi se mi Praha. Please, I encourage other people who have never been to Prague to visit the city once in their life - the experience is unreal. It didnt feel that i was a student there at all.- more drinking pivos and partying i guess. Try to learn the culture and language, (Mluvim trochu ceske protoze studuju na vysoka skola ekonomicka) because the women will appreciate it a lot. I did meet my czech girlfriend there while i was studying there. Podebrady, i will always remember that town. I find that czech women or young people in general tend to be highly affectionate and public display of affection is very common in school or trams. I find it very interesting how romantic the czech women are ie. sitting on a guy's lap on the tram,etc. Once while i was with my czech girlfriend, making a last trip to Karlesteijn before i was about to leave Prague, she would just stop me under the tree to kiss- which reminds me of czech tradition every may1st Coming back in Canada, it really altered my point of view about relationship, and we live in a busy society that we tend to forget the small things in life - caught up in a hustle and bustle of rat race. Czech women are very open with their sexuality, and tend to have playful approach in intimacy which is kinda different from North American women. Sorry to readers if i have the tendency to generalize as this is my 4 months of personal experience. So, dont take my word for it. So, if anyone is going there at all, please do visit the towns like Ceske Krumlov, Karlovy Vary, Ceske Budojovice (budvar aka. budweiser) , Plzen and city like Brno etc. I guarantee you that when you do go back to your home city, you'll always look back in Czech Republic. About my ex-czech girlfriend? well we broke up after meeting each other in Paris(she flew from Prague to Paris , and i guess long-distance isnt realistic where i had to come back here in Canada so i can finish my univ. degree once in for all while shes still a student there. Who knows, maybe in the future, things will change. Thats all i have to say. So Dobrou Noc everyone Na Zdravi MR. JM24
Hi, I agree with JM_24 post.Czech women are nicer and more open at times. I been in Czech Republic for 4 years so I know that czech culture is a very strange thing. As for girls they tend to be picky,even if they know english they won't speak with you in english so learning czech is a must if you want to hook up with a girl there and learning some the culture helps. Sexuality is in the open in Czech Republic was a big shock the first time I went to Prague lol with the billboards and all. One thing I like about Czech Republic that I love is beer! So I recommend people to visit it is a beautiful place to see and many places like Podeabrady,Karlovy Vary and Brno which are my favourites. Enjoy! SR
I'll agree with most of what's been said here in regards to dating a czech gal. My wife of 4 years and I had alot of time to get to know one another. We intially began our relationship due to a couple of friends of mine over there as missionaries. They told each of us we had a lot in common and we should write one another. We did and one thing lead to another. I eventually got to go to the mission training school through the organization in Czech and while I was in school got to know her a little better. Long story short after she came to visit here in the states and I over there we got married three years after the first email. There was some differences we had to get through culture wise. Nothing really difficult I thought because I'm open to new things. One thing I did not try to do was influence her in regards to "my country is better than yours" definatly a biggie for some people. After 4 years here she's of the opinion Czech is better and frankly I agree with her. What you said here though, quite frankly, scares the hell out of me. You should really convince her to do otherwise as the events of Sept. 11 have changed things drastically in regards to doing this. Both you and her can be found on the other side of the bars if you get caught and the possibility is very strong now considering the changes they have made in the system. If either of you do get caught and eventually plan on getting married bringing her here would be next to impossible if not completly. Anyone in here that has gone through the process of getting a visa or greencard before 9-11 can tell you it was difficult enough. Now after 9-11 what we went though before was a cakewalk compaired to today. You two really need to re-evaluate overstaying the visa and taking such a chance.
Wow, that's a nice story, JM24. And I think you didn't generalize anything by far. That's quite close to what I felt from my ex Czech girlfriend. We didn't really brake up though, she hated long distance relationship nor I think it's a nice idea for me who have to spend a lot of time on my university study. You're young and when life still goes on you'll never know what is going to happen until you see it. After all, it's always better to have loved and lost than never to have loved. Why is that? They don't like speaking English? Or it's more important for Czech girls to make sure you pay some respect to their culture by learning Czech? I have no problem with the idea of learning their language to get involved Czech lives rather than a tourist, but I have to say, it's definately not an easy-pick-up one to learn. So if I mostly speak English with some easy sentences in Czech, will that be OK with Czech girls? (I hope so...)
Sileny, As a frequent international traveler, I agree that it is becoming very difficult to get into the United States. The US is now finger printing and photographing every foreigner that comes through customs. I do expect things to get much tougher for foreigners in the future. Paul
I can certainly understand her frustration. We had the same frustrations getting my wife over here for visits when we were dating in getting a visa. Between all of the paperwork on her end and our end I thought it would never happen. She had to essentially prove she wasn't going to stay here and had something in Czech to go back to financialy. I also had to have affidavits of where and whom she was staying with and other information as well. I can't imagine how tough it is now post 9-11. What I do know is it is much much more difficult and can't be done as quickly as we did it before. I'm confused now as well since you've just mentioned this. The approval process before was very detailed and specific. If my wife was denied a visa at the time before she would not be able to reapply for another year. Also, from what I understand the Czech Republic only allows a certain number of visa's a year. I found that out when some of my wife's family planned to visit and couldn't because the number had already been reached. That was a few years ago though. Trust me she's not the only one there frustrated. Our policies here are eventually going to make it difficult on American citizens as well. I think it's part of the reason why we are required to take a driver's test now and get a Czech license. My wife told me of many czech that came here with international driver's licenses only to have the m torn up or destroyed and not honored by our police here in the US. I really think it's going to be a "you kick us we'll kick you" deal eventually. As it will for us as well. One thing our government doesn't seem to be taking into account is the fact that most if not all terrorists are getting into this country illegally not legally. The only ones that are going to comply or be disuaded are the law abiding citizens and visitors. Already my wifes parents have told us since 9-11 they are not ever coming here again, no matter what. All because of the hassle they'll get in order to come here. What's being done honestly, makes about as much sense as grounding or punishing all the kids in a family for the misdeeds of one. One thing you should be certain of if she connects herself to you in any way, anything she does illegally to get here could come down on you. I'm not saying that what she's doing is illegal but it does seem really odd that she's been denied a visa and now has one. Who knows bit do watch yourself.
Sileny, I don't want to change the subject, but I do want to add that it upsets me that Mexicans can illegally drive across the border by the truckload. It would be easy for the federal authorities to round up illegal Mexicans by the thousands all over the United States but they never seem to bother with it. However, it is next to impossible for me to have a love interest visit from the Czech Republic. It's just wrong and doesn't make any sense to me. She just wants to live and explore her world. Hopefully once the CR is completely intergraded into the European Union all of this will change for the Czechs. From my experience they are a wonderful people. Paul
Keep in mind the economic benefits (and dependence on migrant farm workers) US industry and agriculture reaps from Mexican workers.... Thats why our borders are more or less open to Mexico.
paulthevol: I wonder how mexicans crossing the border to get a better life upsets you... Why you just dont get out of your bubble and see that there is other people besides you.
Ioseph, I'm afraid that you have missed the point of my comment. The point being that we have laws in the United States regarding immigration. In my opinion, the law should be carried out without regard to nationality or race. There should be no discrimination or turning a blind eye to one group of individuals while holding another group to the letter of the law. This is what is happening in the United States. The illegal Mexicans, which are an economic force in the US, are overlooked as long as they stay out of trouble and keep a low profile. I don't have a problem with the Mexicans, as far as I have seen they work hard and don't cause much trouble. Do you mind if I now climb out of the bubble that you have placed me in? I mean no disrespect to anyone or group! This thread/post has totally gotten off subject. I just want my beautiful Czech friend to be able to come and visit me so that we can explore the possibilities of a future together. I want her here with me; I want to show her everything that she wants to see. I want her to be happy!!! Paul
Are you reading to much into this. I dont see in her mails where she says she is coming over to live with you and form a loving relationship. She says shes coming as she has friends and will be near where you live. When she gets there you will have to woo her just like any girl. Dont expect too much from this to start with, pretend she is just a pretty American girl and do the same things. If she wants to move in and get married. it wont let her stay any loger so its not much of an advantage. Having said that CZ girls are incredibly pretty so i can see where you are coming from.... Whats all that bout Mexico??? Mal
Malnik, The Mexican thing got started because of United States Customs issues. Ioseph misinterpreted my comments and we had a little misunderstanding that we corrected in private. It's a dead issue now! I may be reading too much into it, but she keeps telling me that she wants to see me when she arrives in the States. She say’s that she wants to know me better. Because I have read that Czech's do not like to classify their relationships, I have not pushed her into a commitment. Like I said before, I am just going to be opened minded and be her friend first. If something sparks for us then I will act on it accordingly. Like the title of the post say's, "I am fascinated with this girl". I want the experience of knowing her better and I have told her that. She is on my mind everyday! You haven't seen anything of her emails; you only know what I have told you. I'm not worried about how to romance her once she is here; I just want her to be here. I'm just using this forum to discuss this issue with others who have had to overcome the immigration and distance obstacles. Most of my American friends have not traveled much and would think that I am crazy for pursuing such a relationship. I cannot discuss this with them; they don't understand anything about it. This is why I value this discussion forum. Paul
