This is taken from the post - Culture Shock. I started a new post so we wouldn't get yelled at for going off topic. Dannae, You asked why I wouldn't want to live with extended family. Well a # of reasons: 1. enjoying my stages of life and not someone else's stage in life. Ex. I have 2 teenagers. I enjoyed the years when they were little and toys were scattered, nights were filled with little feet running around the house, etc. But I'm glad now to be out of those years and enjoying new experiences with my teens such as all of us watching a movie and there are no kids crying or trying to play with toys in the middle of movie, etc. It's a different time for me, I'm at a different stage in my life and want to enjoy that stage just as I enjoyed the time when they were little. My husband's adult daughter lived with us for a few months with her two young children and husband. My husband's daughter and I are VERY close - best friends. Yet, for ALL of us, there seemed to be NO relaxation. Her stuff was in storage (there's no room for it in our two story, 5 bedroom, 2 bathroom house). She allows her little ones to stay up till 10 or 11 when I wanted to just sit and relax with peace and quiet since I had work the next day; but I couldn't because a 4 year old was running around in circles playing and a baby was crying. There were always toys scattered in my living room and no matter how much I put them away, they were back in minutes. Now my house may have been just like that when my kids were little, but I'm past that now and have a different life and want to enjoy where I'm at presently. Also, she couldn't decorate her house the way she wanted cuz it was my house with my stuff. Perhaps my kids and I wanted to listen to music together and she and her kids wanted to watch TV - couldn't do both. Perhaps I wanted to veg out and just relax watching TV and her kids wanted to run and play - couldn't have both. They now have their own place and their own way to run the house. Her kids stay up as late as SHE wants them to and no one cares, its her house. She has toys where she wants them and who cares, its her house not mine and I don't have to live in it. She takes pride in decorating her home with her things. We are ALL MUCH happier. 2. Each year, my husband's parents come from Czech Republic and stay a month with us. My mother-in-law is VERY sweet. I love her a lot. My father-in-law is also very sweet and a hard worker. We love the visit. Yet, I wouldn't want to live with them always nor they with us. She loves to sit on her couch after dinner and have a smoke or get up in the morning and sit at the table and smoke. I HATE smoking in the house. She likes pets - a dog & a cat. I HATE pets. I like to listen to music in my kitchen while cooking dinner each night. My music makes her nervous. She likes to keep up on the dishes so much that my husband says he can't finish a cup of coffee and if he walks away from it, she's dumped it and has the cup washed and put away. However, her obsession with dishes got to her as she had difficulty keeping up on 6 people vrs the 2 she is used to. She got upset that we should all wash our dishes as we use them. That's not how we do it in my house. After dinner each night, someone washes all the dishes (usually me) and they aren't washed again until after dinner the next night. Not a big deal for me but a big deal for her. She likes the South western look and her house is decorated nicely in that style for her. I would never want the south western look but enjoy my "old world" style. I love decorating my house, I take pride in it. So does she. So can you see why life is just so much more enjoyable for everyone when we each have our own home. Not to mention that when the kids are gone (my teenagers work and are in sports so they are gone often) you get quality alone time with your spouse. You can make love anywhere in the house you want (dining room table, where-ever), you can have candle light dinner, you can do whatever you want in the privacy of your OWN home. Now lets say your boys marry a woman that is different than you just like the differences I explained between my mother-in-law, my step-daughter, and myself. These aren't bad differences. Neither of us are right or wrong for our differences and neither of us should have to change our different opinions. After all, we only get one life to live so we should live it in our home the way we want to live it. As long as it's not hurting anyone else, why shouldn't we? So would it be so bad if your son's wife wanted her own place to raise her kids the way she and her husband wants, to decorate their own way, to choose to have pets or not have pets, to make love on the dining room table or living room floor? Is that really such a bad thing? As long as you live close by and see them often, will it be ok with you if the wife says "absolutely not, I'm not living with your parents"?