Relationship expectations

Discussion in 'Culture' started by impish, Jul 17, 2006.

  1. impish

    impish Active Member

    I'm a rather brutish young American woman and I've just started dating a Czech man. Does he seriously expect me to cook and clean and stay home waiting for him? Is this a cultural expectation that I'm going to have to work with, or is this just his personal preference? [/b]
     
  2. gementricxs

    gementricxs Well-Known Member

    I think that it really depends on his personality. What you said is how it was in the past. I think that it's different nowadays. For example I wouldn't expect that from you, on the other hand I know people who would expect it. I don't think that you can definitely say yes or no to this question.
     
  3. Ladis

    Ladis Well-Known Member

    Just give him a direct question whether he's how you described. If he's such and want you, he will lie, that he's not such, and will know what not to expect from you.
     
  4. impish

    impish Active Member

    I'm afraid I must have come off as one of the "are all Czechs..." people posting on this site. I was mostly just wondering if some of the expectations he seems to have of me are more common in CR than they are here. I'm fairly certain that sometimes I do things that seem downright shocking and innappropriate to him but completely mundane to myself.

    As a general rule I don't ask for or take much advice on anything. Unfortunately, I really care about this silly hockey playing son of a bitch and any glimmer of understanding I can get is priceless.
     
  5. Michelle1

    Michelle1 New Member

    I am a Czech woman married to an American.HE expects me to clean a house,cook and wait for him at home. :D To answer your question..generally speaking Czech women are really very family oriented and very carrying....your boyfriend may expect all that from you but he won't demand that in a rude way.....things were changed a lot in our families....usually both partners share their "house obligations" especially if they both work.BUT...we love our men and we love to do something for them and our families.:) Well, yes...I have my Ph.D. too.:)
     
  6. mbm

    mbm Well-Known Member

    Have you considered a surrender? ;-)
     
  7. knew

    knew Member

    I have been in a relationship with a girl for some time now, in fact we just married in the CZ about 3 weeks ago. I don’t want to make generalizations, but I can say that she and her girlfriends do make generalizations about CZ guys. They seem to have the impression that a typical CZ guy wants the girl to take care of him and the house while he enjoys time with his buddies at the local pub. I have been told that CZ girls want western men because we tend to more progressive in regards to being equal partners… while CZ guys tend to want girls from eastern Europe, because they tend to be less dominant in a relationship. OK… wow… I just did a lot of generalizing and stereotyping. SORRY - - BUT, I am just repeating what I heard this from several CZ girls who still live in the CZ, so don’t shoot me… I am just the messenger. I am sure that this can not apply to all CZ guys… but I’m passing on what I have heard.
     
  8. magan

    magan Well-Known Member

    No dear, not to "stay at home", but you are also expected to work full time and then do "woman's work". :lol: :cry: Find out before it's too late.
     
  9. impish

    impish Active Member

    I worked 6 doubles this week and the only day that I didn't work 12 hours between 2 jobs I worked 11 hours at one. My birthday was yesterday and he took me out for a $12.00 dinner and promised to buy me a present next week. I then fell asleep while watching tv, (I had to work from 9am to 10pm again tonight) and he went out to a party and didn't return until 4am. I'm beginning to think that the only difference between American men and Czech men is that Czech men play more hockey and are more blunt about flirting with other women. :cry:

    I wouldn't mind staying in the house and cooking him dinner every night if he'd stay home with me. I've even learned to like hockey. :cry:
     
  10. mbm

    mbm Well-Known Member

    On behalf of all Czech men, I apologize! We're not all like that, you know? I for one don't care much for ice hockey ;-)
     
  11. impish

    impish Active Member

    I'm terribly sorry for my bitter and jaded rant. I've been rather overworked and prone to meltdowns lately. :roll: It would be pretty unfair if I allowed to you to apologize for all Czech men. After all, it's only my Czech man who is being a shithead :lol:
     
  12. dzurisova

    dzurisova Well-Known Member

    There are plenty of good czech men out there. But before you trade this one in, have you tried telling him how his actions make you feel and what they say to you?

    Don't be surprised if you don't get an oral response. I've noticed with all the czech people in my life (men and women) that when I've explained to them how I feel about a certain issue, they don't say anything and I wonder if they even heard me. But soon after, I notice their actions change. So they hear my requests, they simply respond by action instead of words.

    I'm not trying to generalize, but since it's that way with the several czech people in my life, I figure it's a cultural thing.
     
  13. pacific

    pacific Member

    Have you seen this? http://lidovky.zpravy.cz/muzi-maji-...n-/ln_domov.asp?c=A060509_173745_ln_domov_fho

    Summary in English: According to the Czech newspaper Lidove Noviny, a new survey published in May 2006 revealed that most Czechs maintain a traditional gender role division. 71% believe that a man should be the one primarily responsible for financial support of the family and over half think a woman should be the primary care giver and performer of domestic duties.
     
  14. Ladis

    Ladis Well-Known Member

    Their (of the women) problem. It's according to the Czech saying "jak si kdo ustele, tak si také lehne" (how one makes the bed, that's how he will lay down (in it)). A lot of people is as lazy as possible (how the people around will enable it).
     
  15. impish

    impish Active Member

    It does seem to me that the Czech people tend to prattle less than Americans do. I think it may be particularly so with my boyfriend. Marian strikes me as being very "manly" even for a Czech guy, so I never know if he thinks I'm "making crazy vomans talk" or if he's just being reserved. I also know for a fact that large chunks of what I say are lost to the language barrier.

    At least he keeps me on my toes :D
     
  16. EmcaTanecnice

    EmcaTanecnice Active Member

    When I lived in the CR as an exchange student, my host mother made almost TWICE as much money as my host dad. And all my friends' parents both worked. My friend Honza, his mom was a police officer, and his dad worked from home as a businessman. All the people I knew, both of their parents worked. Some moms just worked at a business, selling things, others were doctors and engineers....you can't generalize or assume about anything. However, doing so is that which makes us all human. I would say, from my experience, Czech males are more nonverbal in thier adoration...
     
  17. mbm

    mbm Well-Known Member

    Omigod, I'm like so verbal! :roll:
     
  18. silverkinguk

    silverkinguk Well-Known Member

    Well I think that should be a ladies job cleaning and things really.
    No harm in the men sharing the work though.
    Thats my oppinion.
     
  19. Viktor

    Viktor Well-Known Member

    impish:

    There is nothing cultural about Czech men, as the American comedian Foxworhty once stated: all men (univeral) have only two things on their mind:
    Beer and to see something naked!

    Viktor
     
  20. Willie

    Willie Active Member

    ............if your feet are small, you were meant to be in the kitchen.
     

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