Jan Werich - Monosyllabic story

Discussion in 'Multimedia' started by Swordslayer, Apr 8, 2009.

  1. Swordslayer

    Swordslayer Well-Known Member

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlOuG1o9PHw (upload not by me)

    and here is my go at translation, feel free to correct all the mistakes I've made. Could be shorter, but I tried to keep exactly the same meaning with as little alterations as possible; and of course using monosyllabic words only, with the exception of the three words in itallics (let's say I'm just lazy; now it should all okay). Original Czech text below the separator line.

    A BOOR, AN ELD, A GRAND SON, A DOG AND A GRAVE—Jan Werich

    Once in a time and a place not known a boor did live. It could be also said a man or a gent, as you like it. I call him a boor. Well, and he was prone to steal, that boor. He would steal all he could and where he could. More oft than not when he did starve.

    The day felt like a bloom, a bird did sing, the corn grew ripe, all was lit up with a bright sky glow. Just those deep woods were dim and gloom, there where the boor did sleep.

    He slept for a day and a night straight, for he had drunk just like a fish. When cold chill shook him, he got up off the ground and would go forth, did he not starve. He would eat, had he some food. And he would drink! …just as soon drink as eat; but if he only had some cash! His lips were dry as dust.

    Still, one might go out and rob some more even during the light of day in spite of the fact that it is day. So he went.

    He walked on till he saw a fence, which bore a sign "Bad dog lives here!"

    "Bad dog—and I'm to fear it? No way I would!", and so he must needs go there to rob.

    But yet, the dog was there! And a bad one! And more than that, a fiend of a dog it was!

    As soon as he slipped in, the dog was there and began to howl. His man did sleep, but even so none the less the dog howled on and bawled ever so more more and more, to the point that his man got up and took the gun.

    "Get him! Sick him! Hold him firm! Don't drop the bite!"

    A burst of cries, a ruck broke out, with lots of grunts, the boor wants to get out of there, but there's the dog and his man, too, he's but an eld, and he shouts: "I'll teach you what it takes to try to rob us!" And the eld brawls the way he used to brawl, long ere now, when he was young.

    But the boor is young as of right now and now it is that he has more force to fight. The eld gets weak, the boor kneeled on him and wants to thwack him, when that same while the bad dog leapt up and snapped at him! A thumb of that boor is bit off now. Ere did the dog gulp down the thumb, ere did the eld gain his strength back, the boor wends his way through the man cave. There where the door is, there's a step and at that step a club is there, more like a mace. The eld would want to fight, but a mace is a mace, and the boor went on to hit him with all his might and main, till the eld fell to the ground.

    The dog went on to snatch and rip. It mauled that man's palm and gnawed his fist and now it wants to rip up his throat. The boor, drenched in sweat and blood, is in a rush. While the eld did fall, his grand son just nipped in to the yard, more a boy than a man, and he wants to know: "Who's that who came to rob us and where our grand dad is?"

    By then, the boor had crossed the yard and reached the barn. And over the fence a horse did jump, and on the horse a man. The eld's son's son reached low, down low on his hip, there where he wore a colt, and as he set it off, the colt barked BANG! BANG!

    The boor gave a shriek and the horse reared up; but he did eft go on.

    The eld rose from the ground, he lives and is well, just the boor is gone and so is the horse. At that very same nick of time the eld's son's son yawped: "Look!", and as he speaks, there where the ford is, the horse stood, then he rushed on, then came to halt, and then fell down. The horse lies on top of the boor. But now the boor stood up and set off to run to the deep woods. He wants to hide in there.

    "Just let him go," said the eld. "Who knows this land the best? Which one of use did grow up here? Now I would want a gulp as much as a dog wants a bone."

    The eld's son's son gave him a gin. "Get the dog and come on," said the eld and clucked his tongue. "Take a quaff, too" The eld's son's with a whistle called the dog and off they went.

    The boor sat down a tree. His horse dropped dead, the dog bit off his thumb, and that colt, which had struck him like a bolt, took the breath out of his lungs, and so did it take out his blood. He would like to go on. But he gets ever so less less and less strong, he's pale, he's weak, and lone he is and scared.

    He kneeled down, he did want to raise off the ground, but he fell back to the tree and down the trunk he slid to the earth. He crawled like a slug, tore off the moss and heath, as he towed his trunk inch by inch. Now he knows that all is lost. His sight gets dark and his ears got deaf. Still, he wants to get out, get there where world is and where there's light, no gloom. For where there's gloom, there's death!

    …No, not now! I feel the urge to sleep, it's night and day and night. If that be, I am eft okay. Just if I had some time, some bread and salt and a jug! I could live… live my dream of a life…

    The dog gave a bark.

    And straight aft, a voice: "Rek smelled blood! Go stalk him!"
    "Where did he run off to?" yawped the boy.
    "There, past that oak!"

    And there the boor was. The dog stood at him, then the boy, then the eld.

    "It's him," said the eld and heaved a sigh: "You ran him to ground…"
    "Why did he want to rob us?"
    "What if he did starve, what if he did want to eat?"
    "He knew nought but to drink, that thug."
    "Now he knows what need be, so what's the use for wrath? Let's go"
    "What shall we do with him?"
    "Nought more."

    The End

    -------------------

    CHLAP, DĚD, VNUK, PES A HROB—Jan Werich

    Žil kdys kdes chlap. Dá se říct též muž či kmán, jak kdo chce. Já ho zvu chlap. Nu, a on krad, ten chlap. Krad, co moh a kde moh. Zvlášť, když měl hlad.

    Byl den jak květ, pták pěl, klas zrál a nad vším jas. Jen hvozd se tměl, tam, kde spal chlap.

    Spal den a noc, neb pil jak Dán. Když jím třás chlad, vstal a chtěl jít dál, leč měl hlad. Jed by. A pil! Spíš pil, jen mít zač! Měl ret jak troud.

    Vždyť se dá jít na lup, i když je den. Tak šel.

    Jde, až zří plot, a na něm čte: Je tu zlý pes!

    "Zlý pes—a to se mám bát? To snad ne!" a just tam šel krást.

    Leč pes tam byl. A zlý! A jak! Jak ďas!

    Jen se chlap vkrad, už tu byl pes a vyl. Pán sic spal, leč pes vyl a řval čím dál tím víc, až pán vstal a vzal si zbraň.

    "Vem si ho! Drž ho! Jen mu dej!"

    Křik, sběh a ryk, chlap chce pryč, je tu však pes i pán, je to už kmet, a řve: "Já ti dám u nás krást!" A kmet se rve jak kdys, když byl mlád.

    Leč chlap je mlád dnes a dnes má víc sil! Kmet už je mdlý, chlap na něj klek a chce ho bít, když tu zlý pes se zved a chňap! Chlap má prst pryč. Než pes spolk prst, než kmet se vzmoh, chlap skrz sklep jde ven. Tam, co je vchod, je schod a u něj hůl, spíš kyj. Kmet se chtěl prát, leč kyj je kyj, a chlap bil ze všech sil, až kmet pad.

    Pes rval dál. Rval dlaň i pěst a teď chce rvát chřtán. Chlap, pot a krev, má spěch. Děd sic pad, leč teď zas na dvůr vběh vnuk, spíš hoch než muž, a chce znát: "Kdo tu chtěl krást a kde je náš děd?"

    To už chlap byl přes dvůr, tam, co je stáj. A přes plot kůň, a na něm chlap. Vnuk sáh níž, než je bok, tam, co měl kolt, a jak stisk, kolt štěk BENG! BENG!

    Chlap jek a kůň se vzpjal; leč jde zas dál.

    Děd vstal, je živ a zdráv, jen chlap je pryč a s ním i kůň. Vtom vnuk křik: "Hleď!", a jak to řek, tam, co je brod, kůň stál, pak se hnal dál, zas stál, pak pad. Chlap je pod ním. Teď však se zved a dal se v běh, tam, co je hvozd. Chce se v něm skrýt.

    "Jen ho nech," řek děd. "Kdo zná líp kraj? Kdo z nás tu rost? Teď bych chtěl lok, jak pes chce kost."

    Vnuk mu dal džin. "Vem psa a pojď," řek děd a mlask. "Dej si též hlt." Vnuk písk na psa a šli.

    Chlap si sed pod strom. Kůň mu zdech, pes si vzal prst a ten kolt, co po něm šleh jak blesk, mu z plic vzal dech i krev. Chtěl by jít dál. Leč čím dál tím míň má sil, je bled, je sláb, je sám, má strach.

    Klek, chtěl vstát, leč spad zpět na strom a po pni se svez na zem. Lez jak plaz, rval mech i vřes, jak táh trup o píď dál. Už ví, že je zle. Zrak se mu tmí i sluch mu ztich. Chce však pryč, tam, kde je svět a kde je jas, ne tma. Přec, kde je tma, je smrt!

    …Ne, teď ne! Chce se mi spát, je noc a den a noc. Pak jsem zas fit! Jen mít čas, chléb a sůl a džbán! Moh bych být živ… živ líp…

    Pes štěk.

    A po něm hned hlas: "Rek čul krev! Bež za ním!"
    "Kam štve?" křik hoch.
    "Tam za ten dub!"

    A tam ten chlap byl. Pes nad ním stál, pak hoch, pak kmet.

    "To je on," řek kmet a vzdech: "Tys mu dal…"
    "Proč u nás krad?"
    "Co když měl hlad, co když chtěl jíst?"
    "Ten znal jen pít, ten vrah."
    "On ví už svý, tak nač ten hněv? Pojď."
    "Co s ním?"
    "Už nic."

    KoNec

    EDIT: some rewording done - look for colored text :)
     
  2. eso

    eso Well-Known Member

    Nádhera!
     
  3. scrimshaw

    scrimshaw Well-Known Member

    That is very good!
    A whole story in one syllable words.
    Is there a name for that style of writing?

    I only saw two words in itallics.....during.... and....whistle


    instead of during, you could have used....in.......in the light of day
     
  4. wer

    wer Well-Known Member

    Nice! :D



    Some suggestions for the sake of monosyllability (I don’t think the words like “even” or “ever” are monosyllabic):

    even during the light of day → in spite of the light of day / on a clear day

    ever so more (less) → more (less) and more (less)

    was there and began to howl → was there and gave a howl/bark / was there to (give a) howl/bark (at him)

    I’m not sure what about the whistle, maybe “with a shrill”. Or perhaps, you could skip it and use simply “called”.

    And some other suggestions:

    I think “Sick him!” is the dog order used by English natives.

    I’m not sure whether “man” is the best word for dog’s master. Maybe “lord” could be better.
     
  5. scrimshaw

    scrimshaw Well-Known Member

    Can't use 'in spite of'.....přesto.....that would give it a different meaning

    Přesto, že pršelo, přecházel se bez deštníku.


    Sick him!.......Go get him!....Chase him!
    I have no idea where that saying comes from.
     
  6. scrimshaw

    scrimshaw Well-Known Member

    On second thought, I think ...in spite of...does work there

    maybe more wordy but more common...in spite of the fact that it is day
     
  7. Swordslayer

    Swordslayer Well-Known Member

    Great :) I've replaced all the parts in question, does anyone have any other suggestions up his sleeve? :D As for the lord vs. man, I just don't know, when searching for "dog and his man" vs. "dog and his lord", the former scored 35 900 and the latter 0, on a side note, "man and his lord" scores around 6 150. I guess it's a decision for some native speaker to take.

    The reason I opted for "began to howl" instead of "gave a howl" is because the dog started to howl and it went on till... well it simply went on for some time :) "was there to howl" is so simple and fits the context so nicely, that it didn't occur to me until I saw it in your post :D
     
  8. wer

    wer Well-Known Member

      Přestože pršelo, procházel se bez deštníku.
      Navzdory tomu, že pršelo, procházel se bez deštníku.
      I když pršelo, procházel se bez deštníku.


    Czech “i když” could be always used in place of Czech “přestože” (not vice versa!).

    It’s a variant of “seek him!”

    It is definitely a question for the native speakers. Google is not good here as “dog’s master” clearly prevails and anything else is uncommon.

    In my naïve understanding of a non-native speaker of English, “somebody’s man” stays rather for “somebody’s servant” than for “somebody’s master”. But I fail to find a monosyllabic equivalent for “animal’s master”, perhaps “boss” or “chief”?

    But I think I have an elegant solution for you. The dog’s master is naturally the man of the house, isn’t he?
     
  9. tpmcr

    tpmcr New Member

    When I saw the one-syllabical story, I could not resist adding a consonant-ony story.

    Author: Jára Cimrman
    Background: when J.C. made his famous expedition to the North Pole, he was thinking how to write a scientific log of the expedition (imagine ink freezing, frozen fingers not able to hold a pen). His solution was to use potato letter stamps (such potato stamps are sometimes used during plays in Czech kindergartens to print colourful images).

    This worked well initially; however, the conditions on North Pole were rough and at the end the polar heroes already suffered from polar hunger. To save his comrades' lifes, J.C. decided to sacrifice the potato-vowels -- he claimed that vowels are just a word glue, while consonants are the true carriers of information. To prove that valuable literature can be written even without vowels, J.C. wrote after the lunch the following story:

    VRT
    ====
    Pln skvrn z mlh, vlk vtrhl v tvrz "Krch" skrz strž. Plž prchl,
    mlž zdrhl, plch frnkl skrz vrch. Vlk strhl smrk z vrb. Hrb drhl.
    Šprt z Brd mrkl: "Zblbls? Skrč hrb!" Smrk z vrb mrskl v krb.
    Vlk scvrnkl trn z prs v krb. Šprt škrtl. Vlk zhltl trn.
    Vlk krkl. Šprt ztvrdl: "Trp! Strč brk v krk."
    Prst trhl. Vlk vrhl. Krk vchrstl hlt v prsť. Vlk, pln vln, prchl.
    Šprt, hrd, vrtl srp v drn z chrp. Srp smrskl drn v drť.
    Šprt vrhl v krb hrst chrp. Chrt vtrhl v tvrz. Mrzl.
    Šprt sprdl krb: "Drž drn!" Krb vrzl: "Strč drn v smrk!".
    Šprt škrtl "Srš, srš". Chrt prskl: "Prsk! Prsk!"
    Pln sprch drn zvlhl. Šprt trkl:"Strč prsk v krk". Chrt vsrkl prsk v krk.
    Šprt strhl srst, škrtl. Chrt drkl, zvrhl krb.
    Krb zmlkl. Chrt zvrtl smrk; frnkl.
    Dr. Šprt z Brd zmrzl. Blb.
     
  10. TomKQT

    TomKQT Well-Known Member

    Quite hard to read :)

    Btw, when we are already talking about consonants, here are two words with a lot of them without any vowels between:

    čtvrtvrstva - 10, meaning = quarter-layer (?)

    nejscvrklejší - 7, meaning = the most shrunken
     
  11. wer

    wer Well-Known Member

    Yes, it’s somehow dadaistic.
     
  12. Ctyri koruny

    Ctyri koruny Well-Known Member


    ah ha ha! That is wonderful! Does anyone have a recorded version? Or could someone make one? I would love to hear it!
     
  13. Ctyri koruny

    Ctyri koruny Well-Known Member

    Suggestion:

    One could call him a man or a gent too.
     

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