CZ > EN letter - check out my translation, please

[eso]

I have to write this company letter to foreign partner. Could you please check, if my translation is ok? It's very important to me.

Thank you very much


original CZ:

Omlouvám se za odmlku, ale u nás ve firmě někdy trvá, než se všechno dohodne.

Byl jsem pověřen mým šéfem zjistit podrobnosti ohledně možné dohody.

Pokud od vás získáme produkty, bude to formou koupě nebo pronájmu?

Budeme schopni si do nich vládat naši vlastní reklamu?

Nebo, pokud to není technicky možné, můžeme alespoň předtím, než se produkt zobrazí, zobrazovat svoji reklamu například po 20 sekund?

Je možné domluvit, abychom byli výhradní partneři v ČR?

Existuje nějaký oficiální ceník, ze kterého můžeme vycházet?

Díky za odpovědi.



my translation:

Hello

Sorry for the long pause, sometimes takes time in our company reach the decision.

I was charged by my boss to find out details about conceivable agreement.

If we will acquire your products, will it in form of purchase or lease?

Will it be possible for us to insert our advertisement in them?
Or, if it’s technically impossible, may we show our advertisement before product starts (for 20 seconds, for example?)

Can we become an exclusive partner for Czech republic?

Is there some official price list, we can look over?

Thank you for answers.
_________________
When in trouble or in doubt,
run in circles scream and shout.

[Polednikova]

Although I don't speak Czech well enough to know whether it's an accurate translation, I have put what you have written into better English. I'm presuming it's an email otherwise you would begin with Dear Mr x, and that it's about a promotional video or similar because of the reference to 20 seconds. I hope you can follow my editing as I'm not used to doing it on screen.


Hello Dear Mr x if it's a letter

Again, if it's a letter I would put I apologise instead of Sorry Sorry for the long [pause] delay, sometimes takes time in our company to reach [the] a decision.

I was charged by my boss to find out details about a [conceivable] possible agreement.

If we [will - omit] acquire your products, [will] would it be in the form of a purchase or lease?

[Will] Would it be possible for us to insert our advertisement in them? Or, if it’s technically impossible, [may] could we show our advertisement before the product starts (for 20 seconds, for example?)

[Can] Could we become an exclusive [partner] supplier? for in? the Czech republic?

[Is there] Do you have [some official] a standard price list, omit [we can look over] we could have a look at?

[Thank you for answers] I look forward to your response.

Best wishes

Yours sincerely (if in a letter addressed to Dear Mr x

[eso]

Polednik, thank you very much!
_________________
When in trouble or in doubt,
run in circles scream and shout.

[dzurisova]

Just a couple corrections. In formal writing, sentences should not end in a in a preposition. Also a word was missing in the first sentence. I'll put my corrections in blue:

[Polednikova]

[eso]

[dzurisova]

Polednik, I agree with you that the rule of ending a sentence in a preposition is probably outdated. I guess it's still a pet peeve of mine because growing up, if I were to speak that way in my home, my mother would correct me.

I'm not a lawyer. I'm a social worker. I deal with families that loose their children in foster care. Every 3 months, for each family, I have to write a report and submit it to court so the Judge can make a decision on whether or not to return the children to the birth parents. The report is very long, approximately 20-30 pages so I guess I just got use to writing formally.

Sorry to be so picky!
_________________
Neklesej na mysli, Kristus se narodil!! Veselé Vánoce!!

[Polednikova]

[Polednikova]

I'm not a lawyer. I'm a social worker.

And sorry, I meant to say: well done you for doing something worthwhile for a living!

[dzurisova]