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Czech Jokes
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nautilus
Member


Joined: 25 Mar 2006
Posts: 13
Location: spain

PostPosted: 12-Apr-06 12:50  Reply with quote

Ahoj, can someone tell me a few short common Czech jokes? I would like to know how your humor sense is.

(If isn't to much asking, in Czech and English please.)

Thanks Sad Smile Very Happy
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eso
Senior Member


Joined: 27 Jan 2006
Posts: 1716
Location: Kladno/Prague

PostPosted: 12-Apr-06 15:01  Reply with quote

For example, these jokes from time of Nazi occupation Smile

Sorry, Czech only:
http://uwaga.solnet.cz/Rubriky/Vtipy.html
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eso
Senior Member


Joined: 27 Jan 2006
Posts: 1716
Location: Kladno/Prague

PostPosted: 12-Apr-06 15:10  Reply with quote

I tried translate one of them:

Přivedl gestapák občana do Pečkova paláce.
"Tohohle jsem zatkl!' pravil a hodil občana před zapisujícího.
"Proč?"
"Řval: Židé ven a Němci na jejich místa!"
"Úředník se zarazil a zeptal se: "Poslyš a neudělal jsi chybu? Tohle, co ten občan křičel, je vlastně naprosto správné - to je naše zásada ..."
"Když on to řval na židovském hřbitově!"


Gestapo officer bring a man to Pecka palace (Gestapo HQ)
"I took this one into a custody", said and threw him in front of clerk.
"Why?"
"He yelled: Jews out and Germans on their places!"
"Clerk hesitated and asked: Hey, didn't you make a mistake? This thing, which man yelled is all right - it's our rule..."
"But he was on Jewish cemetery!!!"
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wissy
Senior Member


Joined: 12 Jun 2005
Posts: 208
Location: Surrey, England

PostPosted: 12-Apr-06 16:02  Reply with quote

Very Happy Very wicked.......he he !!
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Reverend Cindy
Member


Joined: 20 Mar 2006
Posts: 18
Location: Michigan, USA

PostPosted: 13-Apr-06 17:37  Reply with quote

eso,
Great translation. I got it no problem! And I like it too. Laughing
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brook
Senior Member


Joined: 20 Aug 2004
Posts: 102
Location: Washington, D.C. / Prague

PostPosted: 14-Apr-06 14:35  Reply with quote

I have a joke my (czech) ex-boyfriend told me. I will share, but I hope it doesn't offend anyone! Surprised


What's the difference between an Englishman, an American and a Czech getting off of a tram?

- The Englishman gets up, looks around and gets off the tram.
- The American gets up, looks around to see if he's left anything behind and then gets off the tram.
- The Czech gets up, looks around to see if anyone else has left anything behind and then gets off the tram.

Razz
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atyka
Senior Member


Joined: 05 Oct 2005
Posts: 541
Location: somewhere in the Czech Rep.

PostPosted: 20-Apr-06 23:02  Reply with quote

@brook, a cool one Very Happy

@nautilus: last year I was in Spain, I am now as well Smile, and I tried to tell jokes to my foreign friends from Spain, but mostly from other countries.. Italy, France, Portugal etc. They looked at me like on a fool.. the jokes I like and my Czech friends liked when I told them, did not seem funny at all to them... well, when I remember one, I message you Smile
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dzurisova
Senior Member


Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 1704
Location: Michigan, USA

PostPosted: 21-Apr-06 13:55  Reply with quote

Quote:
The Czech gets up, looks around to see if anyone else has left anything behind and then gets off the tram.


Brook -- my (czech) husband smiles and nods in agreement.
_________________
Bůh ti žehnej
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dream2b
New Member


Joined: 03 Jul 2007
Posts: 2
Location: Australia

PostPosted: 02-Sep-07 12:50  Reply with quote

Hey .. I love czech jokes. I wanted to add one or two here. I am not so good at translating them. I know the last post here was in 2006, but hope you'll all get the email letting you know about this post. If you can translate these properly it would be great. I have a few czech friends now and these jokes make them laugh well.


Víte, co je to veletrh?
To je když si roztrhnete kalhoty, trenky i prdel.


Prijde takhle jeptiška k doktorovi, že má spálené prirození.
Doktor se ptá, jak se to stalo. Jeptiška na to ríká:
"Já jsem tu svícku zapomnela sfouknout."


Jde chlápek kolem rybníku a vidí, že se tam topí mladá dívka a zoufale volá, aby ji zachránil.
"A souložit umíš?"
"Umm, jasne že umím!" vydá ze sebe z posledních sil holka.
"Plavat jsi se mela naucit!"


I hope you like them, and if you'd like more, just let me know Wink
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Karel_lerak
Senior Member


Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 1772
Location: Praha Czechia

PostPosted: 02-Sep-07 15:10  Reply with quote

dream2b wrote:

I hope you like them, and if you'd like more, just let me know Wink

Jde policajt po parku a vidí, že zpod keře trčí noha. Zatahá za ni a vyleze chlap. "Co tam děláte?" "Souložím". "Tak to bude stovka pokuty". Zpod keře se ozve "S kým se to tam vybavuješ?" A policajt na to "Jo vy jste tam dva, tak to bude za dvě stovky".
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