Next Time, to the Back of the Line By Darren Baker

česky

In the old Czechoslovakia there was no market economy and certainly no telemarketing. But the Czechs learn fast. One afternoon this woman called to ask if she could come over and show me a vacuum cleaner. She promised to vacuum my whole flat regardless of whether or not I bought the machine. I told her that I had in fact just finished vacuuming. She told me she could show me just how much dirt was still left in my carpet. I told her I could show her it myself. She told me she would gladly wait for the next time I planned to vacuum. I told her that might well be never. She told me she would wait just the same.

After hanging up the phone, I left to get to the bank before it closed. I got there in time and took a number from the machine to wait my turn. My number was 85, but somehow during the wait, I came to believe it was 87. When 85 was called out and no one appeared, I said to myself, "That idiot just lost his place." Only after 87 was rung up did I realize who the idiot was. The only way I could get around going back to the end of the line was to ask the floor supervisor for permission to be waited on. She kindly agreed and escorted me to the window herself.

It was nice of her, I thought, until it became apparent that she took me, in fact, for an idiot. Before leaving me at the window, she instructed me, loud enough for the other customers to hear, "Now, stay right there. Don't move. This lady will help you. When she calls you, you go up to her and show her your number. Then you tell her..." She might as well have shouted out to the other customers, "Look, everybody, here's number 85!"