There is quite and important point (and problem) here - parking places. The housing estates in medium-sized and bigger cities were projected and build during times when it was like 1 car per 4 families. There are no underground garages, the luckiest people have 2 garage places per block of flats with 20 flats. And there is very very few parking places in the streets. This brings two problems with parking - when you are coming home and when you want to drive somewhere. No wonder people prefer to walk 15 minutes above driving 2 minutes, searching for a free parking place for 10 minutes and then walking all the way back to the place they wanted to reach for another 10 minutes because they had to park so far. If they're lucky enough to park at all And thx God the people here have no problem with walking and are used to it. If everyone would be driving everywhere by a car (like in the U.S.A.?), the traffic would collapse totally and those who must use a car would be screwed 8)
I can try to understand that and kinda getting ready it might happen but I know I will do everything possible so it does not happen. Because I do not see any reason for it. Well, you said you would not live with your parents but you did not tell me why ... On one side I can understand if a kid gets a job out of state or very far from you. This is understandable. But e.g. my neighbor's daughter lives just 2 blocks form them and she lives by herself. And she visits her mum&dad every day. What is the point to pay twice taxes, utility bills etc. when her parents have a house big enough and she is over there all the time anyways? This makes no sense. If my kids choose to live somewhere else with no reason, I will simply exclude them from my will and donate all the money to charity. I did not bring 2 sons into this world just to be separated from them after a few years. Well, this american lifestyle is probably the hardest one for me to bear - because I see no good reason in it.
Oh and one more thing. I lived, happily married (we had a separate apartment in my family house), with my parents till the rest of their days. My mom died soo fast but my dad endured, he survived his pulmonary embolism attack for more than a year. Doctors did not give him a chance but he recovered, he was even able to drive a car!!! Well, his brain was damaged and he needed a constant attention. And I was always there for him 24/7; one night he started bleeding from his nose - this bleeding was unstoppable because of his pills - but I was there for him. Ctyri Koruny, Dzurisova or whoever reads this - if I lived somewhere else, my dad would not have lived through this horrible night - so sorry - my opinion is that kids MUST stay with their parents. And I am buying a several generation house now and I will do everything possible to have my sons with me till the day I die. Because this is the way to go. Family must stick together - but what do I get in the US? Once a year (maybe) family reunion???!!! Geez, thanks for that BS! Everybody with fake smiles on their faces looking forward to have the whole thing over with? Sorry, I am not buying this sh***. That's what secluded life brings into people. My older son already knows he will have to stay with his mom - and that his mom is a tough nut too - a big family is a real deal. Not PRETENDING to be a family (like I've seen with my husband relatives over here in the US), to be a real one. There is nothing funny about it; this is the ONLY right thing. P.S. My American husband was a bit surprised with my opinion but after the initial shock :wink: he agrees with me and supports the idea. Well, he does not want to learn Czech but at least in this respect he has a common sense :!:
Yes I can understand it that way, if, as you said, there were separate apartments. It was described in the book as one floor for the grandparents, one for the parents, and the children outside all day in the garden! But I think that my parents would breathe down my neck a lot, and if i have kids there will be a lot of things I do differently, i wouldn't want my parents to take that personally, or to interfere. I could live with my parents and a husband i imagine.. maybe.. but with his mother? Never! Mothers treat their sons like children forever! She would think I wasn't taking care of him properly (because I don't plan on taking care of him at all, if I ever meet him) she would think I wasn't minding the house right (I probably won't be) or raising the children right etc. etc. I don't see how it would be possible to make/build our own lives with someone else there. It will be different when/if the day comes when the older generation need someone to look after them. They can move into my house. But I am not moving into theirs. Also I feel like I'm a different person around parents. I would want to be myself with my immediate family, or some form of myself, something that probably doesn't exist yet. I can see how it would benefit the children to have the older generation around a lot while they are still healthy, they will be more respectful and they won't fear getting old so much. But it would drive me crazy. They would all wake up one day and I'd be gone away to some far off land, never to return. I suppose it wouldn't matter so much because there'd still be 3 people left to mind them. What's the harm in family living near each other, and the older generation having a panic button that will ring them if there is some emergency? This is how it has been in my family and so far no one has died or come to harm as a result. I think it is an awful lot of pressure to put on your children "You have a responsibility to support me and help me for the rest of my days and you can not go out into the world and build your own life somewhere else." What if your oldest son wants to emigrate to siberia? You will move with him? You will have terrible rhumetisim in the cold weather! Maybe you are insecure and you think that if they don't want to live with you they don't love you? You said that your husbands family are only pretending! I think this is crazy! I don't think the family that live together necessarily love each other any more than the family that live appart! I haven't seen my parents in a year and i miss them every day but this is my life and they are living theirs (and very happy to be retired and have time to themselves without me, even though they miss me too) I do my best to help and support them. Just because we live a different way doesn't mean there is less love.
Ctyri koruny, hou have a piunt here --- as far a love in the distance. Yes, I do not say that I will punish my kids if they choose to live separately (I kinda overreacted in my previous post) but on the other hand I cannot imagine they live apart. I was brought up this way nobody never interfered in my life and I know I will not either.
Okay I think I understand. I hope it works out for you! But as Dzuriova said if they grow up in America, and marry Americans, they're going to have a different feeling. I think it would be better to live alone than to live with people who secretly resented it, probably not your sons, but maybe their wives? No matter now nice you are, and kind, and understanding.. they might feel strange not being the only matriarch in the house! You could compromise, you could live close by, your grandchildren could visit you every day. I think maybe you are right, maybe you would be lonely and it would be nice to live with family in your last years. But to be honest I was thinking recently i was pretty glad women usually live longer than men because it would mean there was a good chance I'd get to spend my last few years alone! But now I think maybe that type of alone will feel very different to being alone now. Now everything is in front, then everything will be behind. It is a sad thought. It reminds me of Metamorphosis and poor Gregor, I cried so much for him.
Same article read by one of most popular czech TV hosts (Jan Kraus): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67BhxI1dfBk&feature=related
