CZ -> EN - Thesis title & resume

Hi guys, I am finishing my thesis right now and I am looking for suitable english title for it. My working title in czech is:

PROJEKT A IMPLEMENTACE MZDOVÉHO INFORMAČNÍHO SYSTÉMU UMOŽŇUJÍCÍHO KOMUNIKACI S BANKOU

and I would appreciate any attempts of translation help, please...

 

howzabout:

design and implementation of a payroll information system with a bank communications interface

 

I like that

The official czech title might change sligtly in next days and week so I might bother with this once more, but this looks definately better than I was expecting

 

and what specifically were you expecting???


actually i am glad you like it - it means somewhat that i did not waste 12 years of my life working as a systems analyst at a bank for nothing

 

What in the world is a ...Bank communications interface?

 

Do not know what I was expecting , I would translate it myself more "word by word" and that is not the way I like, so thanks again.

:-D you're native, you tell me.

I guess my systems is somehow able to communicate with bank system via the internet. That was I ment to.

 

Bank communications interface.
Probably that is common terminology for people in the banking system and
those familiar with computer jargon.

But I get it..
umožnovat...having the ability to

The 'interface'.....That's a systems program?......is what allows you to work through the internet.

 

That is quite a technically oriented thesis Djavatare..

PROJEKT A IMPLEMENTACE MZDOVÉHO INFORMAČNÍHO SYSTÉMU UMOŽŇUJÍCÍHO KOMUNIKACI S BANKOU

What about this for a translation, without putting in

Design(set up) and implementation of a pay information system of enabling communication with bank.

That is literal translation(I think)

But it does not really flow well in english..
maybe...

Set up and implementation of a system for pay(paying bills), enabling(that enables) direct communication with (the) bank.

Not sure if I got the intent of your thesis.

ment....meant...That is what I meant.

 

Much thanks for help. I just wrote some "resume", the last part of my thesis I need to help with.

So here it is, sorry I know it is long, but please please please I would really appreciate your help:


Tato práce si klade za cíl zachytit všechny fáze vývoje informačního systému od zadání zadavatelem po předání výsledného informačního systému zadavateli. Pro vlastní projekt informačního systému je využita metodika Unified Process a modelovací jazyk UML2. Hlavním cílem je tedy vytvoření informačního systému pro výpočet mezd na míru dle požadavků zadavatele - tj. systém pro usnadnění výpočtu mezd, tisk výplatních pásků, doplněný o modul pro komunikaci s internetovým bankovnictvím. Práce zachycuje postupně iterativní vývoj aplikace ve fázích Inception, Elaboration, Construction a Transition dle použité metodiky. V rámci vývoje byla vytvořena funkční aplikace splňující požadavky zadavatele, aplikace je dostupná na přiloženém CD. V neposlední řadě si ale tato práce klade za cíl sloužit jako souborný příklad pro budoucí studenty uvedené metodiky.

 

So, I tried to translate it on my own:

So, I know probably this does not "flow well in english", as David said, but I did my best.

Please, look at it, and help me to correct it to flow well

Looking forward...

 

My suggestions, with changes/corrections in red and comments in blue. Words in square brackets are suggestions for clarification.

Do you have to do a formal (oral) defense of your thesis? If so, good luck! I remember all too well being "raked over the coals" two years ago. :x

 

Synopsis:

The purpose of this thesis is to record all the phases of the information system development lifecycle – from the time the requirements are first submitted up until the time the completed information system is handed over to the submitter. For this particular project, Unified Process methodology and UML2 modeling language were selected. The main goal is to develop a made-to-measure information system for calculating payroll according to the submitter’s requirements – i.e., a system that simplifies the process of calculating salaries and printing payroll slips, supplemented by a module that allows communications with an internet banking system. This thesis captures the iterative evolution of an application through its Inception, Elaboration, Construction and Transition phases using the selected methodology. Within the framework of the development, a functional application meeting the submitter’s requirements was created. The application is available on the enclosed CD. As its final goal, this thesis is intended to serve as a comprehensive example for future students of this methodology.

 

i retranslated the czech before i saw your english version - what sova says is fine as well


also good luck


in december of 1986, i completed my master's thesis - the topic:
the development and implementation of a computerised inventory system for the wholesale jewelry industry -

argh - over 21 years ago - how time flies this was before the days of windows, mice and the internet

 

Very good, couple suggestions.
This thesis is proposing to take down (note, highlight, describe, expand on, list)all the stages of information system development, from (the) submitter's assignment to handover(the return) of (the) completed information system back to the submitter. For the design of information system itself(,) Unified Process methodology and modeling language UML2 are used. (The) Main goal is to create a payroll information system made-to-measure (customized, made=to order) for submitter's requirements - i.e. system for simplification of payroll counting(do you mean accounting here?)(or maybe tracking) process, printing of wage slips, with addition of unit for(including, complete with) internet banking communication. The thesis is taking down iterative evolution (describes, highlights the progressive steps) in stages of Inception, Elaboration, Construction and Transition according to used methodology. Within the scope of development(,) the functional application satisfying (the) submitter's requirements, this application (leave out the words 'this application, redubdat and confusing)(is) available on attached CD. Last, but not least, the goal of this thesis is to serve as wide ( a broad) example for students of introduced methodology hereafter.(hereafter not necessary)

That is very good use of English in a technical field.
I had to look up meaning of 'iterative'.

 

Sova and Meluzina beat me to it. You got lots of choices, Alex.
Good luck!

 

The others have some good points. I'll change my translation, shamelessly plagiarizing some of their work, and altering some of my own former translation (latest changes in blue).

Disclaimer: I'm not a programmer (and when I do programming I largely do it in FORTRAN ).

 

nice teamwork


i only have a problem with the first sentence possibly:

This thesis proposes [a methodology] to describe all the stages of information system development, from the submitter's task specification to the transfer of the completed information system back to the submitter.

i don't think the theisis is proposing a methodology but rather the application of an existing methodology?? how would this sound?

This thesis proposes to track all the stages of information system development, .....



nothing wrong with fortran - the bulk of my "professional career" was spent as one of those "outdated mainframe programmers" - i.e., assembler and cobol

 

Ah, thanks a lot to all you guys, that is much more than I expected. It will take some time to get through all this.

This will be nice evening

 

This is version I just put to my thesis "release candidate":

If you have some more comments, feel free to post them, I have some five or six days left to alter it to my final version.

Thank you so much again.

 

* "handover" doesn't sound right to me--it just doesn't quite flow right with the technical language of the rest of the passage (it's too casual a phrase). By "handover" ("předání"), are you referring simply to the programmer giving the finished product to the submitter, or are you including a corrections and training/transition phase, where the submitter reviews the finished product, requests changes, and ultimately is trained to used the product? For the first case, I think "delivery" is a more appropriate word; in the second case, I'd use "transitioning."

** "made-to-measure" here sounds really awkward--definitely not something a native English-speaker would use. I strongly recommend you change this. Here are some suggestions:

"a custom-made/customized information system for calculating payroll according to the ..."
"an information system for calculating payroll customized/tailored to the ..."

*** Who is the submitter in the specific case of the application you wrote? Throughout the paragraph, you speak of the submitter in a general sense, without referring to any specific submitter. In this sentence, however, you apply your work to the needs of some specific submitter, but you don't mention anything about this submitter. Perhaps it would be appropriate (both in the Czech and English versions) to explain briefly--you'll have to make that decision. In any case, grammatically, you need an article before the word submitter, either "a" or "the," both of which, however, beg the question I just asked, "Who is the submitter?" Possibly you can put off the reader's question by using the phrase "a given submitter's ...," which would indicate a certain submitter, without being specific in the abstract and alluding to the fact that the identity of the submitter will be revealed in the text. This is probably the route I would take.