First of all let me say I know NOTHING about the Czech Republic. I know. Sad. I live in this crappy town in middle America and there’s this guy from the Czech Republic that works in a bookstore in my town. I’m kind of obsessed not by the fact that, not he as a PERSON moved here, but a guy from Europe actually lives here. I really want to get to know more about him but there’s this problem. Every time I go in the bookstore he’s either really nice to me or extremely rude. I have no idea what I’m doing wrong. Like, sometimes he’ll talk to me and be really friendly and then other times he won’t even LOOK at me. I don’t know what questions I should ask him about his culture (should I even be asking him?) and I’m kind of scared. I don’t know whether he’ll be in a good mood or a pissy one! I know this certainly doesn't relate to all Czech men but is there anything they like to talk about? Is there some kind of common denominator that I could use with this guy? Please Help!!! Thanks, Amanda
Czechs are very sincere. Unlike Americans, they do not pretend they are happy if that is not the case. I'll give you one example. As a Czech, I find the phrase "How are you" very annoying. Although I've learned to reply "fine" every time someone asks me, I cannot persuade myself into saying it in the happy way Americans do. This is most likely considered rude by Americans. Nevertheless, even if I don't seem to be too happy and optimistic, it does not mean that I am not interested in talking to people. As for the topics to talk about, culture seems like a good topic, but you should know that: 1) Czechs are not too proud of their culture. 2) A typical Czech thinks that there is no American culture, apart from Hollywood and McDonalds. 3) Czechs are atheists. If the Czech will not be careful, he might insult you if you choose to talk about religion.
McDonalds is considered a culture? (By the way, one of its founders, Roy Kroc, had Czech parents or something like that...). Yes, this is true. There are even some jokes about America and culture, such as "What is the difference between America and a youghurt? There is a culture in the latter one." And of course, the general idea is that a country whose oldest buildings are just two hundred years old can have no real cultural heritage. Czechs (and maybe Europeans generally) are more proud of their past than their present.
I agree it can be pretty confusing though, if you think someone is nice and friendly, then you go to speak to them one day, and they are very rude. I used to take it really personally if someone behaved like that towards me, and it has happened, but now I try and put it down to the fact they are having problems that is nothing to do with me, and shrug it off.
Thanks for the replies!! I was thinking about going to the bookstore tonight, out of boredom. I still don't know what to say. Him being 2 feet taller than me really doesn't help much either! I also *overheard* :wink: him talking about going to chuch every week. I thought that was kind of odd since the only churches we have around here are Catholic... Amanda
Amanda- I agree with the comment that Czechs are sincere. The men aren't afraid to tell you what they think or what they like. My Czech fiance is Catholic. There are Catholics in the Czech Republic as well as atheists. (Although to my understanding there are more atheists.) If I had a nickel for every time my guy has scoffed at American products I'd be rich. He compares everything to Czech things- one thing that stands out is how he said houses here are "cardboard houses." I guess there isn't drywall there and the carpentry is more solid in CR. Of course, he won't even go near American glassware and Crystal... Its hard decorating/furnishing our home because of this. I was very surprised how "cultured" Czech men are. In the schools there, the men actually are taught how to dance, play instruments, etc... I can't imagine American schools teaching their men how to dance or play the flute.... I think dating is something Czech men take some time with before they jump in and ask you out. They seem rather serious- (not casual) in dating. I actually approached my fiance, and of course he liked it- but he had a perception that American women are morally loose. He had lots of questions for me relating to our relationship and seemed at the time a little possessive. It is NOT acceptable (at least for women) to date more than one guy at a time. He basically told me if a guy asks a woman out in CR, he wants a relationship with her.... Maybe thats why your bookstore man is the way he is.... Another difference is the fact that the Czech men don't shower you with gifts or compliments. (Which illustrates the sincerity thing- he's not shy as to telling me what he likes/dislikes me to wear, etc.) There are obvious drawbacks to this little feature, but then again you'll be impressed when you do get a compliment because you know its true! (He did buy flowers the night he proposed... but thats the one and only time.) One good thing I can say is that the men aren't afraid to show you affection (holding hands, kissing). There is one little annoying habit I don't know if its usual- but he taps my bottom a lot in public. He also has cried on three occasions (romantic movies) and is actually more sensitive than me! I think sensitivity/romance isn't seen as "girly" features there... I realize Czech men don't come in a cookie cutter fashion.... But these are a few things I've noticed as far as cultural distinguishing tidbits...
Dear Psycho Candy: Nothing beats straight talk. Ask him why he is so moody. I bet he doesn't even realize how he comes across. If he gives you a rude answer (which I doubt) then you'll know he is not worth your interest. As for Czechs not being proud of their culture, that's nonsense. Anyway, you may want to run through this website for a while to gather knowledge about the Czech Republic. Many posts, especially in the Culture forum will unveil the Mysterious Czech Male to you. Have fun, Eva
