help needed- any advice greatly appreciated

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous (Czech-Related)' started by ds1, Sep 15, 2005.

  1. ds1

    ds1 Member

    i won't go into details at the moment but i have met a czech girl that i really like. we have been chatting everyday through emails for nearly 4 months and talk on the phone everyday for an an hour or two also.

    she already has a usa visa and planned on visiting me next month (oct)
    i suggested that we visited niagara falls in canada but she needed to get a canadian temp resident visa. she got the visa and everything is all set.

    she never once asked me for money. she seems to have had the worst life while growing up and told me so many things about herself that i would have never told anyone if i had done them.

    since she doesn't have the greatest amount of money i paid for her ticket to visit me next month.she never asked for the money.

    all of a sudden yesterday she emails me and says if i could help her she would greatly appreciate it. she said she needs to borrow $300 for a bank loan that is due . she is on sick leave from work this month since she had surgery on her knee so i know her salary got reduced

    i am 99.% this girl is really honest but all of a sudden i am a bit worried

    can anyone point me in the right direction of a investigator just to confirm her address of hwre she says she lives?

    or even if anyone here wants to make a little bit of money. i will pay you to just see if she really does live there and maybe talk to her for a minute or two

    any advice is greatly appreciated

    thanks in advance :)
  2. KJP

    KJP Well-Known Member

    I feel for you, been there and know of the hesitency. Tell me where she lives, if it is close to me, or my office, I can drop by for you, no money. I cant advise you on her character for I dont know her...
  3. Usal

    Usal Well-Known Member

    Hi DS1,
    I also know how you feel having loved and lost in my life but now I have fallen in love with a Czech woman and we plan on getting married. I am also a member and moderator of a Yahoo group called Romance Scams, we are mainly a support group for people that have been romanced and then either scammed out of money or hurt emotionally. I hope neither of these is the case with you but just in case it is we are there to help you work through this. As I said I hope this is not the case.
  4. iluvuma1

    iluvuma1 Well-Known Member

    Trust your judgement on this one. Sometimes Czech people think Americans are fabulously wealthy. Either way, it was pushing the mark to ask you for money. I don't think a Czech with good character would do this. Czech people pride being self sufficient and independant. Follow your intuition.
  5. Usal

    Usal Well-Known Member

    Julia you are so right. I have to twist my fiancee's arm to let me send her money even when she really needs it.
  6. ds1

    ds1 Member


    thanks so much for the help :)

    i want to apologize for the quick post i left this morning . i wanted to explain a bit more in detail but i was rushing off to work.

    right now i feel really like the worst person in the world for even doubting her. i can always tell when something is bothering her. she gets really quiet and barely talks on the phone. she is generally upset about work or fighting with friends and family :) tuesday she was quiet and i asked her several times what was the matter. she refused to tell me and started crying . we agreed to just drop the whole thing. then i told her what i always tell her. i said don't ever be afraid or embarassed to tell or ask me anything. weds. morning i turn on my computer and find an email from her. she said that she was too embarrassed and feels awkward even asking me. she said she could not get the courage up to ask me over the phone. the money is for a loan that she repays to the bank every month. they deduct it on the 13th and they called her yesterday saying her account was short on funds. she mentioned that one of her friends could loan her the money but she couldn't even pay her back next month because she knows she won't have it by then. and since i offered help in the past she decided to ask me.

    it wasn't the fact that she asked for help that bothered me so much it was just the way that she added everything i would need to send a wire transfer to her account. she mentioned western union but she would have to go to western union then take the money to the bank and the wire transfer would be cheaper for me.

    it had always been her idea for me to visit her in prague. she had spent a good amount of time in the usa and just wasn't comfortable here. i suggested we just go to niagara falls in ontario ,canada and then see toronto,etc.. after seeing pictures she was so excited. i ended up sending the money for her ticket via western union even without even telling her i was doing it. she asked why i would even send her money because we have never met in person. she refused the money several times because she didn't want me to think of her in a bad way. in the end she took it.
    i am under the impression that she really likes me and isn't scamming me. she gets really upset if i don't even call her before i go to bed and leave a message on her voicemail.

    in order for her to get a temp. resident visa just to go to canada with me for vacation i needed to make up an invitation letter. a few people said that she might not get the visa unless the people approve it know i am married or engaged. i wrote a letter the invitation letter saying i wanted my friend in prague to visit myself and my fiance. after she read the letter she really thought i had a girlfriend or finace and basically stopped talking to me for a bit until i explained i had to write the letter like that so she would have a better chance at getting the visa.

    she has always been honest and upfront and came right out and told me things that she did wrong in her life. then said she would understand if i didn't want to speak to her again.

    her whole thing that she always says to me is for me to please be nice to and to never yell at her. she said she had plenty of bad luck in the past with guys cheating on her fighting with here all the time.

    i just feel so horrible for having doubts. but i know anything is possible

    i better wrap this posting up

    thanks for listening :)
  7. ds1

    ds1 Member


    thanks for the offer :)

    not to sure of your location but my friend lives in prague
    i can give you the exact address i have if you do live around prague

    thanks again. :)
  8. ds1

    ds1 Member


    she has always told me how she has been basically been taking care of herself since she was 18 or so. said that there were days when she had no idea how she would survive because she had no money for food but couldn't imagine asking anyone for a handout.

    i am thinking that if she is telling the truth than she must be really desperate
  9. KJP

    KJP Well-Known Member

  10. magan

    magan Well-Known Member

    Well????? How did it turned out?

    Someone in preious posting said: "Czech people pride being self sufficient and independant. Follow your intuition."

    I add "Honest Czech people......."

    DS 1, you write that "she said that there were days when she had no idea how she would survive because she had no money for food....." and I think that it is ridiculous. CR is not land of poor people not having money for food. She is out to "sponge you"

    I have also calculated that 300US$ payment a month is rather large sum. I certainly don't know any woman in CR who would pay any "loans" of that amount from her pay.....and you say she doesn't make much money!!

    I am rather puzzled why you don't visit her in her home/homeland and why are you sending her money....already for trip to US and more, without getting to know her on her own turf.
  11. Usal

    Usal Well-Known Member

    Hi Magan,
    I don't think anyone has said CR is a land of poor people but I am sure and I know for a fact that their are people in every country that are living paycheck to paycheck and situations arise that may cause a person to not be able to make ends meet and I am sure there are people in CR that are in that situation. I don't know about the loan part but just because you don't know of any woman who would not pay that much in a loan out of her paycheck does not mean it is not true. I am always amazed at how people can make blanket statements concerning a particular subject.

  12. Boris The Spider

    Boris The Spider New Member

    you only know her for 4 months! and long-distance at that! it's not normal that someone who barely knows you would pour their hard luck sob stories onto your shoulder...had they not thought that you could do something about it. I'd be very suspicious if i were you; go by your initial instinct - her asking for the money took you by surprise and you became worried. Stick to that, don't send her any money and proceed with caution!
    She suposedly had a surgery on her knee and is off work for a month and her salary gets reduced? give me a break! we do have employment law in CR! How is she going to clime up to see the Niagara falls next month anyhow???
    I think you're being done here, maybe she's not set out that initially, but since the opportunity has lent itself....
    I think instead of spending the money on her now, spend it on an airticket to prague and see for yourself; then make an informed judgement. But don't be a fool now.
    best of luck

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