Funny Pictures, Jokes, etc.

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous (Czech-Related)' started by Ladis, Jan 27, 2006.

  1. Ladis

    Ladis Well-Known Member

    I founded this thread for all funny stuff you find on internet and it's something related to MyCR / Czech language etc :) (better than to create a thread for every such single thing):

    Bad character coding on postcard :)

    Don't copy a text without thinking ;)


    (It should be probably "Malé Náměstí 2".)
  2. evian

    evian Well-Known Member

  3. gementricxs

    gementricxs Well-Known Member

    Wow, ladis, that's a great picture!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D
  4. brook

    brook Well-Known Member


    Okay, while it's not really a found item, it is what my friends and I call "found dialogue" and I thought this would be an appropriate place for this...

    Speaking to a coworker recently... He heard that I was leaving this summer and asked where I was going. When I told him the Czech Republic, he asked me if that was in Africa. Africa!! He wasn't kidding either... Most people I've talked to, while they may not be familiar with the Czech Republic, at least know that it is in Europe, but Africa??? :shock:
  5. Ladis

    Ladis Well-Known Member

    Yes, I heard a lot of people think CR is in Africa. Maybe due to "Republic" in its name (it can sound like "banana republic" :lol:). BTW e.g. France is also a republic - its official name is "French Republic" (see the Wikipedia info). However other countries have also their "short" names, but CR doesn't :( - resp. here's more info about it from Wikipedia:

  6. evian

    evian Well-Known Member

    I think maybe because Czechia sounds a lot like Chechnya, so to avoid unwanted confusion, people opted not to use it. A lot of people here still refer to CR as Czechoslovakia rather than its correct name.
  7. GlennInFlorida

    GlennInFlorida Well-Known Member

    a lot of people here refer to the CR as Czechoslovakia because they don't know any better - they don't really pay much attention to the rest of the world.
  8. Ceit

    Ceit Well-Known Member

    I think Czechia is a perfectly logical short form, and I don't understand why nobody uses it...sometimes I do and people who are not geographers, linguists, or, in fact, intelligent in any way smirk at me and say, "That's not a country's name!" Idiots. I also think usonian is a more accurate adjective for something from the United States, but nobody agrees with me on that either.

    The band Black 47 has a song called "Czechoslovakia" - the fifth song under "Green Suede Shoes". It's funny that it's called that and mentions communists, since the album it's on came out in '96. Maybe the song was written before that though. Unfortunately, it's not one of the sample songs on their site, so you can only read the words. But trust me, it's a catchy tune.
  9. Kanadanka

    Kanadanka Well-Known Member

    In my neck-of-the-woods, people either say "Czech" for the country, or "Czechlands" . I don't like the sound of "Czech" - semehow it sounds very abrupt, and that's what we call the citizens of the country, so it's confusing. I do like "Czechlands", though.
  10. brook

    brook Well-Known Member

    Now this is funny... from happens when you translate czech idioms literally...

    (by the way, I was happy to see your reference to The Princess Bride, Ceit (in your signature)!! I love that movie!) :D
  11. brook

    brook Well-Known Member

  12. Ladis

    Ladis Well-Known Member

    "she is lubricated like a fox = je mazaná jako liška" :lol: :lol: :lol:
  13. wer

    wer Well-Known Member

    Nice :D, I miss there:

    Christopher the Bastard from Up-to-Spoons and Without-Satellites
    Kryštof Harant z Polžic a Bezdružic.
  14. czechchris

    czechchris Well-Known Member

    I find these idioms very interesting.

    It would help those of us trying to learn Czech, if you could tell us the idiom in English as well as a literal translation.

    Friends taught me nebuďte labuť when walking along Dvořákova Cesta on the bank of the Vltava from Nelahozeves to Kralupy, when we saw some swans.
  15. Sova

    Sova Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the belly laugh, Brook!
  16. magan

    magan Well-Known Member

    Ladis: "she is slippery like a fox" not lubricated :lol:
  17. Dana

    Dana Well-Known Member

    These are hilarious! :lol:

    I wouldn't really call most of them idioms (see Wikipedia). There are no equivalent English idioms for many of the phrases on There are only correct English translations of the phrases. Their humor is often based on the fact that one of the words in the Czech phrase can have multiple meanings and the English translation is not using the correct meaning.

    You asked for it, here it is:


    škoda mluvit: damage to speak x not worth mentioning
    škoda - damage; waste

    idiom > nebuď labuť: don’t wake up a swan x don't be a swan (means "don't be silly")

    odpočívej v pokoji: relax in the living room x rest in peace
    pokoj - room; peace, tranquility

    idiom > kde se vzala, tu se vzala: where she married herself, here she married herself (literal translation using the word "vzít" in the meaning of "to marry") x "she appeared out of nowhere" (the original sentence is basically impossible to translate)


    nezvratná pravda: unvomitable thruth x irrevocable truth
    zvrátit - to vomit; to revoke

    svařené víno: welded wine x mulled wine
    svářet - to weld; to boil

    kabelová televize: hand-bag TV x cable TV
    kabel - cable
    kabela - a large handbag

    spodní prádlo: from-under-her laundry x underwear
    spodní = spod (from under) + ní (her)
    prádlo - laundry; underwear

    tažní ptáci: pulling birds x migrant birds
    táhnout - to pull; to migrate (birds)

    trávicí ústrojí: poisoning mechanism x digestive tract
    trávit - to digest; to poison

    výběrové řízení: selective driving x selection procedure
    řízení - driving; procedure

    klínové písmo: crotch writing (or rather "lap writing") x cuneiform script
    klín - lap (as in "sit on my lap"); wedge
    klínový - wedge-shaped

    vinné sklepy: guilty basements x wine cellars
    vinný - guilty; wine (adjective)

    párek milenců: sausage of lovers x a couple of lovers
    párek - sausage, frankfurter; couple

    husí brk: goose burp x goose quill/feather
    brk - quill, flight feather; burp


    Boleslav Polívka (a Czech actor) - Paincelebrate Soup
    Boleslav = bolest (pain) + slavit (to celebrate)
    polívka - soup

    Ladislav Mrkvička (a Czech actor) - Tunecelebrate Littlecarrot
    Ladislav = ladit (to tune) + slavit (to celebrate)
    mrkvička - little carrot

    Martin Dejdar (a Czech actor) - Martin Give-a-present
    Dejdar = dej (give) + dar (present)

    Miroslav Horníček (a Czech actor) - Peacecelebrate Littleminer
    Miroslav = mír (peace) + slavit (to celebrate)
    horníček - little miner

    Švanda Dudák (an opera by Jaromír Weinberger called "Švanda the Bagpiper") - Fun Titman
    švanda - fun
    dudy - bagpipe; tits

    Jaroslav Ježek (a Czech composer) - Springcelebrate Hedgehog
    Jaroslav = jaro (spring) + slavit (to celebrate)
    ježek - hedgehog

    Sentences and phrases

    je mazaná jako liška: she is lubricated like a fox x she is cunning as a fox
    mazaný - cunning, clever; lubricated

    veškerý vodík se asimiloval v roztoku: all the hydrogen probably made love in the solution x all the hydrogen assimilated in the solution
    asimiloval = asi (probably) + miloval (made love)

    vrhl na ni dlouhý pohled: he vomitted a long postcard on her x he threw her a long glance
    vrhnout - to throw; to throw up (rare)
    pohled - postcard; glance

    tvé oči září: your eyes September x your eyes shine
    zářit - to shine
    září - September

    seděla na mezi: she was sitting on between x she was sitting on a balk
    mezi - between
    mez - balk (a ridge between fields)

    idiom > necítím se dnes ve své kůži: I am not smelling myself in my leather today x I don't feel myself (in my skin) today
    cítit - to smell; to feel
    kůže - leather; skin

    přestaň mi plést hlavu: stop knitting my head x stop confusing me
    plést - to knit; to confuse

    idiom > podělal se: he afterdid himself x he made a mess in his pants (literally "he did all over himself")
    podělal = po (after) + dělal (did)

    mistr světa v tancích na ledě: world champion in tanks on ice x world champion in figure skating (literally "in dances on ice")
    tanec - dance
    tank - tank
    v tancích - in dances; in tanks


    polovina - half
    half-blame = polo (half) + vina (blame)

    překlep - typo
    overgossip = pře (over) + klep (gossip)

    prostořekost - flippancy, impertinence
    simplegreeknes = prostý (simple) + řekost/řeckost (greekness)

    zabezpečení - security
    behind-without-baking = za (behind) + bez (without) + pečení (baking)

    potkan - rat
    potkat - to meet
    "potkan" could theoretically be a Czech word for "meeter"

    křeček - hamster
    křeč - spasm
    "křeček" could theoretically be a Czech word for "spasmer"

    neohrabaný - clumsy
    neo-raked = neo + hrabaný (raked)

    pořízek - a stout/strong guy
    aftersteak = po (after) + řízek (snitzel)

    podvraťák - mutt, mongrel, bastard
    undergater = pod (under) + vrata (gate)

    duchna - duvet, feather quilt
    ghostess = duch (ghost) + the feminine suffix -na

    Student translations into Czech

    Easter - Východňár (someone from the east)
    Pubescent - ten, kdo smrdí hospodou (he who smells like a pub)
    general Failure reading disc C - generál Failure čte disk C: (an army general named Failure is reading disc C)
    I passed the exam - propásnul jsem zkoušku (I missed the exam); proPÁSnout - to miss
    Sportswear - sportovní nadávka (sport swear)
    he stopped smoking - přestalo se z něho kouřit (smoke stopped coming out of him)
    close relatives - zavřít příbuzné (to put relatives in jail)
    to deliver - odjátrovat (to de-liver, to remove liver)
  18. czechchris

    czechchris Well-Known Member

    Gosh, thanks Dana!

    They are so funny!
    I can see where things are coming from now - and appreciate the jokes.
  19. Zeisig

    Zeisig Well-Known Member

    the verb mazat usually means to lubricate = to apply a lubricant, the purpose is to minimize friction

    but in certain cases the purpose is to gain a protective shield, not to be slippery; maybe anointed is the proper word

    člověk všemi mastmi mazaný - lit. a man anointed by all ointments - denotes someone who has applied all possible protective/magic ointments (a clever man)

    hence mazaný člověk = a clever man;

    another term is pomazaný (křižmem) = anointed by chrism

    but it is not funny :oops:
  20. brook

    brook Well-Known Member

    Fun site, though my czech is not good enough to understand all of them...

    I like this one though:

    V pivu je vitamínů málo, proto ho musíme pít hodně!
    There are few vitamins in beer, therefore we must drink more of it!

    (rough translation, but you get the idea :wink: )

Share This Page