Hello all, My husband's folks, who now live close to Los Angeles, are not terribly fond of their growing up in CZ. They left the Czech Republic in '84 when they were in their mid-40's, and never ever want to broach the topic. I understand fully the history of communism and all that, but their disdain for being Czech even stretches to the fact that they tell their 4th son (studying in college now) nothing about Czech history, nor do they offer any encouraging words for him to be curious about his ethnicity. Can someone please offer me a balanced view of such strong opinions from their end? As their daughter-in-law, I find it incredibly difficult to fathom showing such little interest in their own country and culture, especially since I am a Chinese-American who absolutely wants to know more about her own heritage. Help from anywhere around the world, please?
Wow, what you're saying about your in laws sounds very foreign to me. Both of my parents are from the former Czechoslovakia, one is Czech and one is Slovak. They both came to the US in the 1960s, my mom in 1968, which was a very unstable time. My parents talk about their home country a lot, and not just about communism. Neither of them or their families were communist, and while they have nothing good to say about communism, they have plenty of good things to say about the education systems and family life. My parents had very different childhoods, but they both said that growing up in the Czech Republic and Slovakia was wonderful because as kids they felt very safe and independent. They never had to worry about going out alone or about being abducted or abused by anyone. There have been many times when they said that they had a better childhood that I did here in the US because they were really able to be children. These are just a couple of the views that they still have. They still travel back to the Czech Republic and Slovakia, and my father has even thought about moving back there. So, don't believe your in laws when they say that EVERYTHING was bad and horrible, unless they truly had some terrible, unforgettable experiences, which they may have, many people were terribly abused under communism. Eli
Eli, Dekuji pekne for the time that you took to offer me some perspective. I was mostly curious as to whether this was a common view of my nasi, to have such a strong adversion and distate for any kind of reminscing or discussion of their beautiful country. Yes, they absolutely had a miserable existence in the former CSSR, and had to share a 1 bedroom byt with my mother-in-law's parents for five years...still though, the fact that they never want to discuss anything irks me (this is an understatement!). Whenever I ask questions to try and clarify and understand their feelings, they are wont to discuss it, and try to end the topic as soon as possible. Furthermore, i feel that they insist that they are Americans, and only identify themselves as such. And yet, they still love Czech food, converse only in the Czech language at home and amongst family members, love lead Bohemian crystal, and are familiar with all Czech traditions! Furthermore, they possess perfectly that skepticism and distrust that has been 'embroidered' into the Czech fabric from the many years (6 decades, to be exact) of being occupied and told how to think and be. To me, it is a curious thing that I understand more about Czech history (i.e. Premyslid empire, Battle Bila Hora, TG Masaryk, Dubcek, Benes, Havel, and V. Klaus) than even my 100% Czech brother-in-law, who is only encouraged by in-laws to endear himself to American obsessions (i.e. football, investment banking and portfolios, etc). Hard for me to respect that. No matter how hard one tries, I feel the denial is futile...just can't run away from one's culture and ethnicity. So thank you from all the way across the country!
You're very welcome! I'm glad that I could help. I can understand why your in laws may not want to talk about their specific experiences under communism. I know several Czechs, in different age groups, and the general consensus among them is that communism was a repressive and horrible regime. Some of them talk about it more than others, it just depends on what they went through. Your in laws may not want to talk about it because they just want to forget it. But, it's good to know that they still speak Czech and value some of the Czech heritage - at least that means that they don't hate everything about the Czech Republic. As you say, it is a part of who they are, and it is extremely difficult to forget where you come from. I applaud you for studying Czech history and culture, even though you are not Czech. Like you, I've always wanted to know more about it as well. Even though I was born in the US and have lived here for my whole life, I still feel a connection to the Czechs and Slovaks and I want to nurish that connection. Perhaps your in laws don't aspire to do the same, and that's their own perogative. Ahoj! Eli
